Travelling is probably the most efficient (and fun!) way to get to know yourself and the people you’re travelling with. Travel can help you define, or refine, values that are important to you. It can even help you discard deeply held beliefs that might’ve been holding your back. I personally think that travelling with someone is the easiest way to know if you can stay in a long term relationship with them. Travelling with other people can deepen bonds, but it can also expose faults that could potentially endanger the relationship. Don’t underestimate the power of travel; it can really bring out the best, or worst, in you and the people around you! Overall, travelling is a great method for self-discovery and there are major lessons you learn along the way that’ll serve you well for a lifetime.
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Lesson 1: You’re fiercer than you think you are.
I was browsing in a jewellery store in London, UK and I was almost pickpocketed. I noticed a young woman standing next to me and looking at the same products I was. She was standing close to me, uncomfortably close, like in-my-personal-space close. I did think it odd she was standing so close to me, but I brushed off the uncomfortable feeling because I assumed she just really wanted to look at the products I was looking at too.
Note: never ignore your instincts. If something feels off, it’s probably because it is.
But I walked off abruptly anyway because I didn’t like how physically close she was getting. I walked off to another corner of the shop to look at something else and I noticed immediately she was right close to me again. I felt a bump and, it turns out, she pushed a book up against me to hide the fact she was trying to unzip my purse.
Everything clicked instantly: she was trying to steal from me.
I’m still amazed how fast and terse I reacted at that moment. I’m not known for being loud, or bold, or tough, or scary, but in that moment I was scary. I whirled around, looked her right in the eye, and growled “You’re trying to steal from me…and you better not!” Or something along those lines. She and another young lady I hadn’t noticed before bolted instantly out the door.
Another side note: pickpockets never work alone. Always stay alert when you’re out and about.
I was lucky I caught the pickpocket in time and nothing was taken from me. I think I was luckier that my instincts kicked in and I reacted the way I did which scared the young lady off. Either way, I do believe that you’re fiercer than you think you are when the situation calls for it. And almost being pickpocketed while travelling will reveal that.
Lesson 2: Most people in this world are kind.
I don’t want to leave you with that cautionary tale of pickpocketing. Pickpockets are everywhere, but they’re not representative of the kind and generous people that inhabit this world. The more places in the world I get to see, the more I realize that most people are kind and sincere.
It’s unfortunate that scams and pickpockets are commonplace, but you simply must be vigilant and trust your gut if something doesn’t feel right. However, don’t let one bad story deter you from visiting relatively safe places.
I’ve been fortunate to meet people who’ve helped me find my way in Dubrovnik or who’ve helped me order pintxos in San Sebastian. I try to remember that if someone wasn’t very nice then it’s because that particular individual wasn’t very nice. And to leave it at that. The reverse is also true. This just helps me keep a level head that every single person I meet is also an individual with agency and how they choose to act (be it courteous, friendly, kind, nasty, insulting, brutish) is how they chose to act in that moment.
Lesson 3: You’re more resourceful than you know.
These days, it’s easier than ever to find places with Google Maps, or to book a ride with Uber, or to book a flight, or a hotel, or order food. You literally have all those options right at your fingertips!
It’s so easy to do anything these days with tech that I don’t even know how I found places with just a paper map back in 2015. I used to circle, on the map, all the key locations I needed to know (like my hotel or major subway stops). But I relied heavily on the paper map. I didn’t have the extra cash for a data plan back then and I didn’t know what pocket wifis were. The text on the map was so small at times that I really did need a magnifying glass to see the names.
Then there was always the fear of your map getting wet, or lost, or ripped. And a paper map being a paper map meant there was limited space to write the street names; not all streets were shown, and you couldn’t zoom in on the map. A paper map was also hard to read at night, so you depended on the street lights. I personally didn’t go very far, I think with just a paper map, because there was no way to judge the distance.
Oh, and you wouldn’t believe how hard it could be to get a paper map sometimes. So that’s when I learned to always make the tourism office your first stop so I could get a paper map because a paper map really was treasure!
But somehow I found my way across cities (like many people who lived in an age when Google Maps didn’t exist) and saw the landmarks I wanted to see. And I trusted myself to follow directions and find those places. With Google Maps these days, I don’t have to fear losing my way at all. Which I can’t decide if that’s necessarily a good thing because I found some great hidden gems when I lost my way!
So yes, you learn you can find directions anytime, and anywhere, and you trust yourself to do it. And that’s an empowering feeling.
Lesson 4: You can always count on yourself.
Travelling taught me to be meticulous, and dare I say, even paranoid. It taught me that I needed to plan for eventualities (like being pickpocketed) or how to manage hygiene at a hostel. When you’re frugal, you end up booking some sketchy, cheap hostels. I learned some important lessons from the first cheap hostel I stayed in: hygiene is key. It was also the moment where I vowed I would make some decent money because, as fun as hostels are, sharing a room with 6 people and 1 washroom wasn’t pleasant.
So I learned to always pack a pillowcase, bring an extra bed cover sheet, and deodorant that worked. Let’s just say you did not want to use the bathrooms in some of the places I stayed at. I learned to pack up to 3 weeks in carry-on and I learned how to divide up my valuables in case I did get pickpocketed. If that did happen, at least I’d have the important stuff with me (like extra cash, credit cards, and passport).
I learned to pack an extensive first-aid kit because you never know when there are no medical facilities nearby. I made sure to have the travel insurance number, emergency bank numbers, local emergencies number all entered into my phone. I made sure to have screenshots of all my hotel bookings, tickets, insurance policy numbers. I made sure my family knew where I was and knew how to contact me (or me, them) if things went sour. In short, I learned to plan and prioritize my health and safety. Travelling teaches you that you can always count on yourself.
Lesson 5: You are your best companion.
Learning to enjoy your own company is priceless. The number one fear I hear about people refusing to travel alone is that they think they’ll be lonely. Here’s the secret: you can get lonely, frustrated, and even angry travelling with people. The trick isn’t just to travel with other people; it’s to travel with the right people. How do you know if you’re travelling with the right people if you’ve never travelled with them before?
Short answer: you don’t.
But you take it on a leap of faith, and no, don’t assume that simply because you’re good friends with someone that you’ll travel well together. Seeing each other morning, noon, and night can take a toll and create cracks that weren’t there. Or even exacerbate the flaws that were. Again, I don’t mean to sound so morbid because of course you can have great times travelling with friends, but be prepared to potentially see unfavourable behaviour in your friends if you’ve never travelled with them before.
What I’ve learned from travelling solo and with good (and not-so-good) friends is that, no matter what, you are your best companion. You get to get off at random train station stops because the place looks cool. You get to eat all the pintxos you want in San Sebastian without having someone tell you about their latest food diet. You can take first class in a train in Italy if you want. You can stay in a 4-star hotel in Spain or in a hostel with 6 other people in Venice because you’re in control of your price points. You get to decide if you’re hiking up the steep stairs to see Notre dame de Fourvière in France or if you’re taking the funicular that day. In other words, you are in full control of your time, money, and energy.
You get to do whatever you feel like when you cherish your time and energy. Travelling teaches us that we’re our own best friends because, at the end of day, the person we spend the most time with—is ourselves. So let’s have a good time doing that. And travelling can teach you that lesson pretty quickly.
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